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Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are not far behind, having received $1 million from People magazine for pics of their daughter Harlow.

Who knew having babies was this profitable?

“It was very tastefully done.”

“I respect the photographer as an artist, so I look at them artistically.”

“I looked at it as art, and as Lindsay doing a character. So I don’t look at them like it’s Playboy; she was being a character. So if you look at it that way, you can look at it as a mother.”

Lindsay’s teenage sister, Ali, visited the set while her sister was being photographed nude.

“Trust me,” Dina said, “I wouldn’t have sent my 14-year-old to the set (if the shoot was in bad taste). And obviously Lindsay wouldn’t do anything with her sister there, that was risqué.”

The hotel heiress was devastated after being told she couldn’t attend the prestigious event on Sunday night.

A source said: “She cried hot, salty tears when she was banned from the Oscars. She’s desperate to be taken seriously as an actress and hoped she would be able to network with film executives.”

Paris even has a $3.9 million designer dress for the ceremony.

The 17-year-old actress - who plays schoolgirl Hermione Granger in the hit movie franchise about a teen wizard - was recently linked to Razorlight frontman Johnny Borrell but would rather romance the 'Lord of the Rings' star.

She said on her official website: "At last week's London Fashion I met Johnny Borrell (who is modelling for Burberry at the moment) and we went on to a party hosted by designers PPQ in the same cab. I'd never met him before so that was great as I'm a big Razorlight fan.

"But goodness, I am really going to have to watch who I stand next to from now on! Maybe I should stand next to Orlando Bloom and then we can be said to be 'dating'!"

Emma and Johnny, 27, were seen laughing and joking at London's National Portrait Gallery last Monday (11.02.08) before partying at nearby nightclub Dolce.

Johnny - who split from 'Spider-Man' actress girlfriend Kirsten Dunst last year after a five-month romance - and Emma later left the party in separate cabs.

No sooner had the words had left her lips than the animal services in Los Angeles were planning an early Tuesday morning assault on the Heiresses’ home in Beverly Hills.

Aparently it is illegal to own more than 3 dogs unless your property is registered as a breeding center or a kennel. A mere technicality in the world of celeb!

But as the ‘troops’ arrived to inspect Hilton’s home, she was no where to be found.

TMZ says, We’re told Paris rejected her brother’s request, telling her 18-year-old brother, “You’re going to learn your lesson.” TMZ also knows Paris was “very upset and very disappointed in him.”

What? I guess Paris is now the purveyor of all things right with our world. She should become a highschool counselor now, I mean, lets face it, she was just in jail…she must have came out a changed woman!

Oh and….

“In all my years,” said an insider, “I’ve never seen as big a dirtbag as this guy. I can’t believe how he has taken advantage of this woman when she is in such a fragile state.”

If marrying her were the path to sanity, KFED would have a lot to say about this. Now what? Is Adnan entitled to the estate? Or just her nagging about what time he gets home at night and who is texting him all day? I doubt you can win by marrying Britney.

I don’t really know what they were talking about, but this is from The Today Show. I was hoping these images came from The Vivid offices in The Valley. Where they were shooting Couch Confessionals part 1 with plans to make parts 2 through 2,013.

Ok, maybe that isn’t happening.

I am willing to bet that Bar would have absolutely no problem getting a job at Hooters. Seriously, I bet she would get the job on the first interview, no second interview required. I wouldn’t even be able to focus on my wings (actually, I always order the hotdog). Little known Hooters secret is that the hotdog is totally the best thing on the menu.

POW!!! BADDOW!!! KA-BLAMMO!!!

Run for cover, because it looks like Christina Aguilera's breasts are about to explode. Looking more and more like a comic book version of herself, Christina Aguilera brought her ginormous boobs to a signing at Best Buy. Though, I think that was more to distract from her horrible face.

But there are two things I wonder about. A) Do babies like silicone-flavoured breast milk? And 2) Has her kid already developed a fear of clowns...

Ugh. Why'd Heather Graham have to go and wear a completely see-through shirt, and ruin it by wearing a bra? And a big one at that. That's not nice. It's sexy, sure, but kind of a tease, you know. Next time, Heather, leave the bra at home. Trust me, you don't need it.

What Heather does need, apparently, is a neck brace. I don't if she's suffering from some kind of medical condition, but it looks like her head is going to fall right off her neck. She's kinda starting to freak me out.

Then again, I'm pretty sure Paris Hilton wishes everything was a dildo.

But you didn't come to here me bitch about another lame award show. Or did you?

You can count on seeing a lot of these two incredible beauties together over the next few weeks as they go around talking about their new movie, The Other Boleyn Girl, and trust me, I will be stalking following them the whole way. Until my head explodes, that is.

Here are Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman together on the cover of W Magazine, and if that wasn't enough, Natalie equates their film to "history through porn." Yeah man, Natalie Portman's talking about porn! Okay, I think my head just exploded.

Aguilera learned she was pregnant while on her recent “Back to Basics” tour.

“We were planning on starting to try after the tour. And so, I had gone off the Pill to prepare my body, because I didn’t know how much time it would take. You’ve heard it takes some time — except with Power Egg and Super Sperm here,” she says. “… I’m like, `Oh my god, can you believe it just happened?’”

Hudgens’ rep confirmed that the picture is genuine.

So far, Disney is standing behind the 18-year-old actress.

“I know I have been breaking my neck and bending over backwards trying to get my new Backwoods Barbie CD and world tour together, but I didn’t mean to hurt myself doing it!,” she said in a statement. “But hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don’t have back problems.”

“Seriously though, the doctors said I will be good as new in a few weeks, and I can’t wait to get back out there,” Parton said in the statement posted on DollyPartonMusic.com.”See you soon, Dolly.”

I wonder if this was a staged PR stunt to sell more tickets when she comes back to the road. This news feed will be published on thousands of sites and in front of millions of people. JUST in case you forgot that Dolly Parton has large breasts, here’s a non news worthy item (like everything here) to remind you again and again. She is a masterful marketer and it is my opinion her back condition is staged or was planted in the news.

"His name is Patrick Aufdenkamp, a friend/hanger-on of Lindsay's since well before she went to rehab, dating back three years. Multiple sources close to Lindz tell TMZ he's been putting her in too-close proximity to alcohol, and worse, he may be putting the progress she's made in serious jeopardy.
"He has nothing to offer her," says a family source, "and he looks at Lindsay as his meal ticket."

I don't really see this Aufdenkamp guy as much of a threat. His perm looks pretty flammable and Lindsay's a smoker. That's a recipe for a flaming gaylord ala Lindsay. I'm looking forward to seeing this dude turn into the human torch while Lindsay Lohan bangs all the firemen on the scene. And, okay, let's be real, a fire hydrant too.

"They claim rival agencies are arming the thugs with cameras and sending them out to do battle with the dozens of paps who rubberneck around Hollywood's favorite train wreck.
Veteran snapper Nick Stern, who quit the Splash agency this month, said: "I've heard stories of fights, of car tires being slashed, cars being blocked in."

I want to say this whole Britney situation has officially reached new levels of insanity, but at least these guys are off the streets and earning an honest living. Capitalism does work! Hold on there's someone at the door. Hey, sorry, folks but there's a nice young man here by the name of Fuk-U-Up who wants to pistol whip me in the street for crediting some photos wrong. But I won't bore you with shop talk. Be right back. Say, buddy, can you go easy on the face? I just did a cucumber mask this morning. You'll just shank me in the abdomen instead? Sounds fair to me. You're an okay guy, Fuk-U-Up.

"The final count will show that the critically reviled comedy featuring the seemingly talentless Hilton has sold a meager $25,500 in tickets at 111 locations over the weekend. That's only $230 per screen for theaters that were convinced to book this disaster. That means that, based on an $8 average ticket price, 29 paying customers showed up at each location over the 3-day."

Paris didn't seem too concerned that her acting career is back in the shitter where God himself wants it. She unveiled her new line of shoes at Macy's yesterday and signed autographs for fans. One woman even let Paris hold her baby. Why a social services SWAT team didn't immediately secure the child is beyond me. At least I know, when this poor little girl develops an incurable diaper rash, her pediatrician will medically punch the mother in the face. Paris Hilton holding a child. Wow. Wasn't there a barrel of toxic waste nearby? You know, something kid-friendly.